5 Mistakes Not To Make During the Divorce
Divorces are often a mess of emotions that make people, who would usually be considered rational, irrational often causing severe harm to their financial future. The faster and smoother the process of divorce is, the less of a toll it will take on both parties’ financial future. The following is a list of mistakes commonly made by clients, that can make the divorce process longer and harder.
1. Bringing children into the battle
This seems like common sense but your children are not weapons, they are innocent victims of the situation. Your children are not getting a divorce they are half you and half your ex-spouse, any negative comment you say about their other parent is like you are saying there is something wrong with them. Parent should avoid making disparaging remarks regarding the child’s other parent when the child is present.
Also, it is important to get an agreement done with the children done once the right way. Continuing fights over issues involving children long after the divorce, is a way to guarantee financial and emotional devastation for both parties for a large portion of your life; ongoing litigation is expensive. Get an agreement done the first time that works for both parties, and hopefully minor modifications in the future won’t be a war.
2. Not being up front about your plans or being sneaky
The person initiating the divorce should be direct and honest about their intention to get a divorce. Often, people wait for their feeling or intentions to be found out. When this happens the person who is being divorced feels they should have an attorney review every document and action of the initiator with a fine-toothed comb. There is no advantage to being sneaky; the process just takes longer and costs more.
3. Unburdening your conscience
Revealing past mistakes, sins and betrayals, like an affair, may make you feel less guilty and maybe help you get started in the process of forgiving your self, but it will hurt and fuel your spouse’s rage; If you need to get something off your chest, go to a priest, or if you want to spend money, a shrink, bartender, or lawyer work just fine.
4. Hiding assets, financial information, or mishandling of accounts
Lawyers have many different ways of getting financial information; almost every asset has a paper trail. Having a lawyer or a private detective find the assets is expensive, and judges often punish concealment. Discussing and agreeing how to separate assets openly and upfront saves time and money.
5. Beginning a new relationship before your divorce is final
The best way to ensure a difficult divorce is to start a relationship or get into a serious relationship while you are still in negotiations with your spouse. You may be surprised at the idea by the jealousy your ex spouse shows when a new relationship begins, but you loved each other enough to get married, and all those feelings don’t disappear.